Birth, aging, illness and dying are inevitable in the course of human life. Although death is a natural phenomenon, and it is inevitable that every living thing dies, it is believed that no two persons feel or act exactly the same when facing death – some people may deny or be taken by rage, others may wail hysterically or become desperate.

Dealing with death is almost a part of our daily routine in the Emergency room. People think we rarely show emotions and always remain serene towards death. I once thought I could face any patient’s departure with serenity, and believed that maintaining my composure in these circumstances would allow me to concentrate on my work…

When I was still working in the public hospital, I remembered vividly that a young female patient arrived at the emergency room one evening. She was very slim but had a disproportionately big abdomen – an obvious sign of end-of-life patient. She looked like she had been in torment for quite some time. There was no sign of life on her even upon her arrival at the emergency room. After a detailed checkup in the first-aid room, I walked outside and informed her family about the bad news.

There was only her husband waiting at the door. I originally thought breaking the bad news was no more than a doctors’ routine. However, at the moment I informed him of his wife’s death, he stood there silently with a blank stare. He was swallowed up in a trance, sobbing, and with his lips tightly clenched. I thought then, even in the case of death being preceded by a long illness, anticipatory grief would not make the loss of the love one any less painful.

I was deeply saddened by his lost and I could feel an inexplicable sorrow inside. All I could do at the time was standing across him, padded him on his shoulder, and accompanied him on his journey of grief.

By Dr Cheung Chin Pang
Consultant in Emergency Medicine

(This article is translated from Dr Cheung Chin Pang’s original article in Chinese.)